


The Marauders are a package deal

by Prongsfoot334



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Crack, F/M, Gen, Howlers (Harry Potter), Humor, Marauders, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), One Shot, Peter Pettigrew Didn't Betray James Potter and Lily Evans Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28246710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prongsfoot334/pseuds/Prongsfoot334
Summary: One-shot: In this, Lily and James are alive, Peter didn’t betray them, the traitor was Aberforth Dumbledore, and Harry is a prankster.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter
Kudos: 15





	The Marauders are a package deal

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters! Please leave your thoughts for my first fanfiction!

Harry blamed the Daily Prophet. If they would refrain from writing about everything he did, he wouldn’t have gotten into this situation. Sometimes he hated his title. The Boy Who Lived. Lucky for him his parents were only gravely injured, not killed but still his mother’s attempted sacrifice saved him. After that the papers had Harry Potter all over. Harry’s first word, Harry’s first solid food, Harry’s first bloody friend. His mother had wanted him to go to a muggle preschool but by the third week the prophet got wind of it and had swarmed the school with paparazzi. The teachers, who had never heard of Harry Potter wondered if maybe they were missing out on the latest news. Then came Hogwarts. Harry’s house, Harry’s friends Harry’s enemies. Draco Malfoy and Snape had both gotten hate mail for treating Harry how they did. Harry often felt that they had a spy in Hogwarts placed for him. To make matters worse, his guardians consisted of the Marauders, and they did an excellent job embarrassing Harry as it was. Even though he was in his third year, they still sent Snape howlers and charmed objects. Harry had let his inner prankster out with some help from the Marauders. His latest prank had made it into the morning papers. Harry didn’t regret that at the slightest, he simply wished his mother hadn’t found out. But when he saw the scarlet red envelope Hedwig dropped in his lap, he lost the hope he had been clinging to. He watched as the letter smoked, wondering what was in it. The letter exploded.  
“HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU! YOUR PRANK WAS IN THE MORNING PAPER! I HAD TEN DIFFERENT MUMS TELL ME ABOUT IT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP PRANKING! I EVEN FORBADE ZONKO’S FROM SELLING YOU PRODUCTS! HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU MANAGE TO PULL THIS? TURNING HUMANS TO ANIMALS HARRY? DO YOU KNOW HOW- “  
Four different voices sounded in the background.  
“FLOWER!” James.  
“EVANS!” Sirius.  
“LILS!” Remus.  
“LILY!” Peter.  
They could hear Lily’s groan and footsteps getting close. “Hey Flower I was thinking should I apply for that job we found Friday?” asked Remus. “Lilykins, I swear, there was this guy at the Auror office demanding to speak with Barty Jr. he was such a tool…..” said James. “Lily, can you make something, I’m hungry.” Whined Peter. “Evans entertain me, I’m bored…” the four men kept on talking about meaningless things and Harry winced. His mother had a lot of responsibility because… “OI!” shouted Lily from the howler. The four men shut up. “Okay, can’t you see I’m doing something?” she asked. “Sure, you’re sending a letter, why is this so…. That’s a howler! Oh, oh, is it for Snivillus?” asked Sirius excitedly. “No, for Harry.” Replied Lily. “What? Why?” asked the Marauders together. “Because of a prank he pulled…” “Really? Why am I just finding out now?” asked James. “Do tell.” “He turned all the students minus himself into the animals of their house. Would you like to say something to Harry, James?” “YES! HARRY THAT IS ABSOLUTLY BRILLIANT! WE DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THAT, DID WE PADFOOT?” “NO Prongs, we didn’t. well done, Harry, I’m so proud of you,” said his godfather’s voice. “That really is impressive Harry, very advanced Transfiguration, amazing!” said Remus. “Good job Harry, I didn’t think you had it in you.” Said Peter. “POTTER! BLACK! LUPIN! PETTIGREW!” howled Lily. “THAT IS NOT HOW YOU DISIPLINE MY SON! YOU SOULD BE DISCOURAGING SUCH ACTIONS! IT WAS IN THE GODDAMN PAPERS THIS MORING! THIS IS ALL YOU FAULT POTTER! NO DON’T ANY OF YOU TRY TO RUN AWAY! LOCOMOTER WIBBLY! IF I HADN’T MARRIED YOU, THEN YOU AND YOUR GANG WOULDN’T HAVE CORRUPTED MY SON! EVEYBODY WARNED ME! DON’T MARRY POTTER, YOU WILL REGRET IT! NOW LOOK WHERE I AM! A PRANKING SON AND FOUR BLOODY HUSBANDS!” “Now, Lily calm down,” said Remus. “NO REMUS, I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! IF ONLY POTTER HAD HAD THE DECENCY TO TELL ME IF YOU MARRY ONE MARAUDER, YOU MARRY THEM ALL! DON’T EVEN TRY TO DEFEND YOURSELF, BLACK! YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE! I COOK FOR ALL OF YOU, CLEAN FOR ALL OF YOU, SO BY ALL STANDARDS I DO HAVE FOUR HUBBIES! THE ONLY THING I DON’T COVER FOR YOU THREE IS SEX!” The whole hall winced and covered the ears of the younger students. “AND HERE YOU ARE ENCOURAGING- mmm, hmm…” “Harry,” whispered Sirius, even though it was amplified by the howler. “Your dad’s distracting her for a bit, I promise I will try to survive.” “SIRIUS BLACK! DON’T THINK I- AGH! PUT ME DOWN! SIRIUS! NO! PUT ME” Lily’s screams faded away. “Sorry, about that, Harry. Your mum will be alright. Good job on the prank, please write on how you did it, because it takes lots of advanced transfiguration and charms to pull that off, not to mention potions. I know your dad and Siri want to know too. We love you, Harry, and please, get up to no good.” The letter shredded itself up. Harry grinned and resumed eating. All was well for the Potter household.


End file.
